Sparkling Clean

How to obtain a sparkling clean kitchen and kids along with freshly baked bread:

Step 1.
Make bread dough. 

Step 2.
As your bread is rising, give your child a cup of flour to play with on a flat surface in the kitchen (counter, floor, table, etc) You might want to do half a cup per child if you have more than one.

Step 3.
Add to the flour mess by blowing up a balloon with vinegar and baking soda.

Step 4.
Distract the kids with the blown up balloon while you clean up the flour mess and transfer your bread to the baking pans.

Step 5.
Put your child in the shower to get the flour out of their hair, off their face, and every other surface of their being. This will complete the sparkling kid portion of the project. Put the bread in the oven.

Step 6.
Use the wet towel to clean up the rest of the flour off the floor since you slipped on it after getting your child dressed.

Step 7.
Your kitchen should be sparkling clean at this point and your bread done baking. However you will be a damp flour mess at this point so you better hop in the shower. Alas your child will make another mess before your 3 mins of water are up so you are back to square one with the messy house. However, you do have freshly baked bread and that will make just about anything better.